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Well into our spiritual journey, after the excitement of salvation has worn off, now into the race for the next promotion, with the busyness of life cramming our minds with deadlines and redlines, we are awakened.  On the drive home or late at night when all the kids have gone to bed, we hear a voice crying out in our heart: Wasn’t I made for something more?  Is there something missing?

We are sitting in the theater, captivated by the bravery and boldness of Aragorn, William Wallace, Hawkeye, or Maximus.  They seem so engaged, so sure of themselves, and what’s the word … wholehearted? We hear the voice again:  Isn’t there something worth dying for? What am I living for? I must have eaten too much popcorn.

At night as you turn over for the umpteenth time, the feelings, a voice, come in waves and are as quickly suppressed.  After all, that breakfast business meeting is approaching.  Get back to sleep!

As the days turn into months that turn into years, we have those times again and again where that inner voice shakes us up:  There is something more; you were made to be dangerous! It seems so illogical, impractical, and wild.  It seems so unreligious, even scandalous.  It couldn’t be from God.  It’s just too passionate.

Could it be the voice of God awakening your heart?  Might it be the voice of a masculine wholehearted Warrior speaking to your beaten down heart?  No way.  Not possible.  That’s not what they teach at church.

We as men have been created, molded, and fashioned to feel the heart of God in a way that only men can experience.  This feeling voice is God’s unique way into the recesses and cracks of our heart.  It is Man speaking to man in the ways only a man can feel.  It is the deep waters, the feeling of chaos in the male heart,

Chaos calls to chaos,
to the tune of whitewater rapids.
Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers
crash and crush me.
Then God promises to love me all day,
sing songs all through the night!
My life is God’s prayer.
(Psalm 42:6~8, 
The Message)

It’s when we slow down enough to listen that the adventure begins.  It’s at the point of despair within, that the cascading feelings bubble up and we say yes to a new journey.  This is a journey of the heart.  It’s a song within.  A prayer of love. It’s an untapped longing to live, to be fully alive.  And if you will take time to listen, you just might discover a new pilgrimage, a road less traveled. You just might find yourself on an adventurous road to becoming a worshipper and warrior.

Steve Holt

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